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More expats in China are using dating apps to diversify their social circles and romantic options. Photo: IC

It was 11 pm on a Saturday night, and Jeff, a European expat who has been living in Beijing for five years, was just back from a party where he met a lot of new people, both foreigners and Chinese. Still, though, he felt just a little bit empty, a little bit restless, and so he logged onto Tantan, a Chinese dating app similar to Tinder, that he has been using for the past year.
He started swiping through prospective partners' pictures and limited profiles, which include information like age, zodiac sign and occupation. Swiping left means you do not like the person, right means you do. Left, left, and then, 'Oh, this girl is pretty. She's got a nice smile,' he said to himself, and swiped right. It was a match, which meant the girl also liked him. 'Hi, how are you?' he typed.
According to Jeff's profile on Tantan, 5,166 girls have liked him over the past year, which translates to 5,166 chances to meet new girls online. In that time, he's achieved 1,196 matches, which meant that he and 1,196 girls liked each other.
Chinese dating apps have been seeing growing popularity among expats living in China, in part because many foreigners' social circles are largely limited to other expats, and these apps give them the chance to meet and date locals. Among the most popular apps, both for Chinese and foreign singles, are Tantan, Momo and Skouts.
Sun Yang, a public relations director from Momo, told Metropolitan that they have seen more expats using their dating app over the past few years, though they didn't have any statistics detailing their number of foreign users.
Another dating app, Tantan, didn't reply to Metropolitan's calls as of press date, but according to Metropolitan's count, it contains around one expat user for every 10 Chinese users in expat-heavy neighborhoods like Guomao and Sanlitun.
Milo Gonzales, a Beijing-based relationship counselor from the US, said that dating apps are a quicker and easier way to meet new people for expats.
'It gives people the opportunity to talk and communicate to see if they have the same interests, and if their general viewpoints click before they meet in person to see if they are right for each other,' he said.

Women from the West and from China generally take different approaches to dating when using dating apps in China. Photo: IC

Some believe that relationships that start through dating apps tend to be more shallow since users are more focused on appearances. Photo: IC

The good and bad of cross-cultural dating
What Jeff likes about dating apps is how easy it is to find and meet pretty local girls. In real life, many expats work so much that they have only limited time to socialize, and when they do, according to Jeff, they mostly hang out with other expats.
'Dating apps help break that invisible boundary between expats and locals,' he said.
That has indeed been the case for the two male expats who talked to Metropolitan, both of whom have noticed they are more popular on Chinese dating apps than they are on apps in their home countries.
A case in point is Bruce from the UK, who has only been using Tantan for one month but has already received 236 matches.
'In the UK, when I use Tinder, I usually get 20 to 30 matches tops, because there are fewer girls who swipe right for me than in China.'
Another difference, according to Bruce, is that in the UK, it is usually guys who start the conversation and do the work to try and impress and win over the girls.
'In China, I feel the girls are more keen to meet with me and impress me. Chinese girls don't have arrogance is the best way to explain it, I guess.'
In his experience, Chinese girls on Tantan usually start conversations by asking where he comes from and what he does in Beijing, before asking for his WeChat, and then if he wants to meet up.
'But I think it's too quick,' Bruce said. So far, he has met two girls through Tantan.
Andrew, a Brit in Beijing who's been using Chinese dating apps for five months, says he quickly discovered that while women in the West generally start out chatting about shared interests, Chinese women are more likely to ask about his job and future plans.
He recalls one Chinese girl who, after a single date, began planning their wedding and future together in China.
'I understand that in China, some girls are facing pressure to get married before a certain age, which drives them to want to get serious faster in relationships,' said Andrew.
Another source of culture shock for expats is unrealistic expectations.
Shim Bo-kyung (pseudonym), a 24-year-old student from South Korea, said he often gets the impression that his Chinese dates like to imagine him as being just as rich and handsome as the characters from South Korean TV series.
'Some of my online dates would call me Oppa (Korean for 'older brother,' a term of endearment sometimes used for boyfriends) in a coquettish way just like in South Korean TV series, even though they are older than me, which just freaks me out,' he said.
'Some of them also assume that I am rich, even though I am just a student who works part time,' he said.
Shim added that some Chinese girls have even asked if he comes from a wealthy family like in the famous South Korean TV series The Heirs.
Flings vs serious relationships
Although dating apps have made it easier to meet more people, the relationships formed are often short-lived and shallow, because they were based in the first place on little more than appearances.
'With dating apps, people check out one another's pictures very quickly, and if they think you're attractive, that's it,' Jeff said. 'Most don't even look at the information you've written down.'
Gonzales said that, according to his observations, most guys who use dating apps are more interested in casual relationships, because so many apps are geared at hooking up.
Other expats have different intentions, and use dating apps more to meet locals, learn the language and deepen their understanding of China.
Bruce, for example, wanted to make new friends and maybe find someone who wanted to learn English and could teach him Chinese at the same time. As a result, he met a 19-year-old student who wants to study in the UK, and they've been meeting up to do a language and culture exchange.
Erika, a 22-year-old student from South Korea, has similar intentions to Bruce.
'I'm not looking for the love of my life on dating apps. I use them more for the sake of having different experiences and expanding my world view. By meeting more people from different backgrounds and careers, I've learned a lot about interacting with different kinds of people. I've learned how to start and carry a conversation, to alleviate awkward tension and to listen to others' stories,' Erika said.
She said the best experiences are when you hit it off with someone, and end up talking endlessly.
She recalls one guy she met, who works at an IT company, with whom she had a great conversation about philosophy and life. He also expressed interest in making Korean friends, since his work and social environment is exclusively Chinese.
'I've been surprised to see how eager most people are to interact with foreigners; it's just that they usually have few chances to do so,' Erika said. 'I think Chinese guys are more willing to start conversations with expat girls on apps than they are in real life.'

Dating apps are a huge part of modern dating culture. You have Tinder, Happn, Bumble… the list goes on and on. But if you’re going to China, chances are you’re not going to be finding any dates using the apps you’re used to. Sure, you could go out and meet people to take on a date (read our guide on how to score a date).

However, your best bet is going to be using what the locals use, not just for app availability reasons in that region, but also to increase the number of people you can interact with. Let’s take a look at some of China’s popular dating apps.

1. Momo 陌陌 Mòmò

How it works: based on location

Even though this app is the number one dating app in China, the company wants to be known for more than just that. They have launched a campaign to help homeless cats and dogs in China. Sweet isn’t it? But it still doesn’t detract from the fact that many still peg Momo as a just 约炮 yuē pào hookup app.
Download here: Momo

2. TanTan

source: bloomberg.com

How it Works: Pretty much a Chinese import of Tinder

This app uses the same Swipe Right or Left matching method as Tinder. This means if you are familiar with Tinder, you should have no problem navigating TanTan. Also, unlike Momo, you can use this app in English. For those who have trouble coming up with something to talk about, the app has a pretty fun “ice breaker” feature where you each answer 10 questions to help get to know your match a little better.
Download here: TanTan

3. Tencent’s QQ

How it Works: a popular instant messaging app, also been used to meet potential singles.

QQ has many features like games, links to news articles, as well as a way to learn Chinese or translate phrases into Chinese. The ‘find friends’ function is location based, and gives you tons of information — from the usual like age and gender to the more eclectic, like astrological sign and blood type.
Download Here: TenCent QQ

4. Qing Chifan 请吃饭 Qǐng chīfàn

source: 3987.com

How It Works: a popular app for finding dining partners near you.

请吃饭 means ‘please eat’ and as we all know, eating is a very important aspect of Chinese culture. To find a dining

partner, simply put in what kind of food you want to eat or which restaurant you want to go to. If someone is interested, they’ll get in touch with you. The app also gives you a choice to either offer to pay for the meal, or to split the bill, allowing you to avoid an awkward situation.
Download Here: Qing Chifan

5. Liu Liu 遛遛-宠物社交 Liú Liú-chǒngwùshèjiāo

How it Works: this app helps pair up pet owners and lovers.

Looking for a guy who isn’t allergic to your cat? Or a girl who will swoon over your pitbull? Well look no further than 遛遛-宠物社交. You can actually set your main picture as your cat or dog, and there will be a small picture of you in the corner, to the extent that will make you wonder if you’re looking to meet the person or the animal. Well, as the Cheng Yu goes: 爱屋及乌 Àiwūjíwū Love me, love my dog.
Download Here: Liu Liu

6. Baihe 百合 Bǎihé

How it Works: this a bit more of a serious dating app for those looking to find a life partner

source: applezona.com

百合 is serious business: when you create an account, you will need to verify your real name, provide proof that you

own a house/apartment and a car, upload your school graduate certification, and your credit score. Basically, if you’re someone who has their shit together and is only looking someone in the same boat, skip the other apps and try 百合 first.
Download Here: Baihe

7. Blued

Chinese Dating App Usa

How it Works: currently the most popular gay dating app in China

Blued’s interface is similar to a mix between an instant messaging service, Facebook, and Twitter. For account verification, you must send a video of yourself to the Blued team who will match your face to the photos you’ve posted on your account. After that, it’s pretty straightforward. Blued may see some competition soon since a Beijing-based company has purchased the very popular US based app – Grindr. Grindr is already used in 190 countries and is an easy-to-use app that matches with men in your area.
Download Here: Blued

This list is just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other Chinese dating apps out there for you to peruse. Which apps have you used to score a date in China? Do you have any good stories/horror stories? Share them with us!

Karl Ryan

Chinese Date App

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